Sunday, March 27, 2011

Cobra Vs Ninja - A Review For the Masses

People to Know
Richard Harrison...Gordon
Stuart Smith..........Cobra
Other People........Self

The Storyline
There are ninjas who are fighting, and there's a syndicate that wants to control gambling, and they gamble on the fights, but....It doesn't really matter. We're here for ninjas!

My Thoughts
Much like many terminally ill juveniles who spent their last days on the Neverland Ranch, I have been touched. However, unlike those poor children, I was only touched by the beauty that only Godfrey Ho and Joseph Lai could commit to celluloid in all of their cut-and-paste glory. Of course I speak about the Richard Harrison classic film, Cobra Vs Ninja.

I'll begin by saying that if picture quality is a great concern for you, then Cobra Vs Ninja may not be the film for you. There is no digitally remastered blu-ray Criterion edition with guest commentaries featuring Bill Clinton & Kim Jong-il here. It's only two completely unrelated stories crammed into one feature length film with poor picture quality, and questionable voice acting, baby! And, that's how we like it.

From the opening sequence of an aging  Richard Harrison running around fields, and climatically screaming "ninja!" from a hilltop, you should have an idea of whether this is the story for you. Indeed, Cobra Vs Ninja is for the true hard-core ninja fan out there. You'll be pressed to find Korean pop stars who have the aid of CGI to make them look like they have superhuman abilities here. Our ninjas are actually performing the moves, and in this writers opinion, it is much more effective.

If there is on thing that Cobra Vs Ninja does well, it is the fight scenes between the various ninjas. As mentioned earlier there are two separate stories here, story 1 with ninjas, and story 2 with gangsters. The fight scenes between the gangsters aren't bad, but they are not nearly as good as the ninja fights.

The storyline is fairly coherent, but really isn't necessary for this exploitation style movie. After all, you wouldn't watch a "Debbie Does..." movie for its emotional depth.

One complaint that I would like to bring up, which is pretty much the same as my complaints from most of the Ho movies that I have seen, is that there isn't nearly enough ninja action. The gangster story takes up a good portion of the screen time. There are more ninja fights here than in other knock off style movies, such as Ninja Vs Ninja, but I would've appreciated more. Perhaps I'm just a glutton, but I know what I like.

In Conclusion
All in all, I would say that Cobra Vs Ninja is not that bad. The second story is better than many of the second stories in other cut and paste films, which makes this movie a little more watchable in my opinion. If you like ninjas, and are a fan of old school martial arts action films, then I would recommend this movie.

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